Why is Santa Wearing Jeans? by Sarah Samways

Hope your Xmas was less interesting than mine!

The Lankville Daily News

Why is Santa wearing jeans? Why is Santa wearing jeans?

A Selection from Our Heavy Bursting Christmas Mail Sack

Well, it’s the day after Christmas and our editor’s office has been flooded with letters from you, our loyal readers. These range in topic from “How long do I cook the Decorative Ham?” to “How much tinsel is too much tinsel?” and “What polish should I use to clean my new aluminum baseball bat?” THESE ARE ALL VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS LANKVILLE AND WE LOVE YOU FOR IT. But there was one letter from a little girl that was particularly heartwarming:

Dear Lankville Daily News,

Why is Santa wearing jeans? Why does he sometimes smoke cigarettes and wear aviator sunglasses, even at nighttime? Why does he call the school librarian ‘Mama’? I really don’t think that’s his mama.

Merry Xmas,


Mr. Fick of Fick Industries (who drew the short straw this year and was placed in…

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