Dial-a-Buddy: A Paid Advertisement

Whoever said you can’t buy friendship was wrong.

Whoever said you can’t buy friendship was wrong and obviously had never heard of Dial-A-Buddy! Dial-A-Buddy, Lankville’s newest venture in friendship growing, is coming to a (device) near you!

Are you depressed, confused? Are you lonely? Are you feeling unsafe and in need of a community to call your own? Are you in love with a ghost? Sounds like you need a Buddy, friend.

With Dial-A-Buddy, all you need is a (portable transmitting device), with the add-on Dial-A-Buddy signaling attachment ($39.99), and a little bit of patience. Type a few non-sequiturs into your device like “Lemons are the fruits of the gods” or “Brouhaha at Tony’s…” and wait for a response from any one of Lankville’s 3,229 Dial-A-Buddy agents. Waiting times vary from one minute to three weeks, so have patience. Once you have received a response from a Buddy, which will…