Devon Fick Presents: Short Stories Based on Small Objects

Here’s a piece I wrote for Devon Fick’s ongoing series, “Short Stories Based on Small Objects.”  My object/inspiration is the blue ticket seen below. The love of his life had died back in ’81. Poor Ol’ Dorothy Jo’s lungs had failed her, leaving Mr. Robert William Barker alone with a bunch of infertile dogs. IContinue reading “Devon Fick Presents: Short Stories Based on Small Objects”

Summoning Spirits with Carl Dunn: A Lankville Daily News Exclusive

By Sarah Samways, Contributing Female  While the majority of Lankvillians spent this past Halloween walking around aimlessly, looking for a “good time,” visual artist and occasional occultist, Carl Dunn, spent his morning a little bit differently. Going to the local slaughterhouse, nearby his beloved Fotomat and down around the corner from the Pizza-A-Round, Dunn broughtContinue reading “Summoning Spirits with Carl Dunn: A Lankville Daily News Exclusive”

UMBC Reading List

I am beyond honored to have had one of my novels nominated for UMBC’s required reading for its first year program. As a GED recipient and a university dropout, this acknowledgement from Academia is especially heartwarming. Although not selected, it is always nice to be nominated! You will also notice some of my Lankvillian colleaguesContinue reading “UMBC Reading List”

STAR SIGHTING AT PIZZA A-ROUND, GARLIC BREAD CONSUMED

via The Lankville Daily News Popular motivational speaker and local “financeteer,” Brian 4 Ever, made a rare appearance at the Pizza A-Round last night. Also spotted were Computer Computer Paper CEO Amanda Burgess, Tammy La Hoyt of Tammy’s Nails, LDN’s own cuisine writer Brian Schropp, and President Albert Pondicherry. Yes, the stars were certainly outContinue reading “STAR SIGHTING AT PIZZA A-ROUND, GARLIC BREAD CONSUMED”

DECISION 2016: LANKVILLE TALKS BACK

LANKVILLE TALKS BACK  The Lankville Presidential Election is heating up. Incumbent Pondicherry is currently in the lead with Royer and Hadbawnik tied for second. Polls close on Thursday and the winner will be announced on Friday via this publication as well as through our sister pundit, The Boston Hassle. You’ve seen the attack ads, nowContinue reading “DECISION 2016: LANKVILLE TALKS BACK”

Samways and Fick: Consultants (A PAID ADVERTISEMENT)

Samways and Fick, Inc. S&F INC. believes that leaders deserve to have a high-performing team and we help them (the leaders) to place the right people in the right seats doing the right things in the right foundation at the right time and in the right climate.Helping You Reach the Area Near the Top ofContinue reading “Samways and Fick: Consultants (A PAID ADVERTISEMENT)”

Stories featured in Infinite Scroll

Just got the latest issue of Infinite Scroll (#4: Time & Money) in the mail today! Many thanks to Will and Tim for featuring a couple of my Lankville  stories in this one. Get yours today at http://infinitescroll.bigcartel.com/!

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF TROPHIES

A PAID ADVERTISING TESTIMONIAL    “I WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO WIN MORE TROPHIES…”    says Dr. Grabkurt, renowned “life” expert. Dr. Grabkurt believes that the trophy is man’s greatest barometer of success. “It is far more important than meaningless academic degrees or life experiences,” the trophy authority notes. “I will teach you how toContinue reading “DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF TROPHIES”

INVESTIGATION: What the Hell is Up at Local Pizza Joint?

An Investigative Report by Zach Keebaugh Paladin Pizza in Central Lankville has been in business since 1972. They operate out of a mean, one-story building nestled in front of a defunct factory. The parking lot is cracked and worn and the sidewalk in front of the door has nearly returned to dirt. The windows areContinue reading “INVESTIGATION: What the Hell is Up at Local Pizza Joint?”

News: Millennials Are Moving Back to Lankville and Living Like Kings

A BROCK BELVEDERE SPECIAL REPORT   Last year, Berenice Cradles and her boyfriend Josh Wilson-Shires paid $26,000 for a three bedroom, 1,600 square-foot Lankville Northern Regional Style house in the Snowy Lake Area. After growing up in the nearby Eastern Hills, attending Lankville State Easier University, then living and making music in the Islands forContinue reading “News: Millennials Are Moving Back to Lankville and Living Like Kings”

News from Lankville: 5 Things that Disgust Me in Men

BOSTON HASSLE + THE LANKVILLE DAILY NEWS: Five of Lankville’s most captivating women sat down with The Lankville Daily News to share their thoughts on how local men disgust them. It’s a fascinating time to be alive.   5.) SHEEBA INCAVIGLIA, Astrologer   I am an emotional woman by nature. Therefore, I could not stand the love andContinue reading “News from Lankville: 5 Things that Disgust Me in Men”

News from Lankville: The Electronics Cranny

Boston Hassle + The Lankville Daily News introduce Neil Cuppy. The Electronics Cranny: Watcher of the Signals by Neil Cuppy Many of the Electronics Cranny’s fifty-seven radio station towers connecting Eastern Lankville to Western Lankville stand on hills, mountains, and little small mounds far away from towns. Day after day, the apparatus does its duty; no manContinue reading “News from Lankville: The Electronics Cranny”